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Beyond What the Eye Can See: Communicating with Those Living with Invisible Illnesses

Just because someone is walking doesn’t mean they aren’t carrying a heavy burden. My mother was right – “Don’t mistake movement for wellness.”
Just because someone is walking doesn’t mean they aren’t carrying a heavy burden. My mother was right – “Don’t mistake movement for wellness.

My mother once told me, “Just because someone is walking doesn’t mean they’re healthy.” At the time, I didn’t understand what she meant. I now understand it was wisdom—and that she was referring to illnesses that are not always visible, like Multiple Sclerosis (MS), an “invisible disease”. This type of disease reminds us that a person can be standing, smiling, and performing, all while quietly managing fatigue, pain, cognitive fog, or uncertainty about tomorrow’s strength.

 

Diagnosed with MS

An employee joined my team after graduating from college, and during her time with us, she was diagnosed with MS. It felt as if the weight of the world came down on her while she was hundreds of miles away from her parents.

 

I made sure to give her all the support she needed, so she wouldn’t feel she was alone. I learned so much about the disease and what it truly means to live with an invisible illness like MS. I now feel better equipped to communicate with and understand those who are affected.

 

How to Apply Lessons Learned

Here are a few lessons I learned, along with some thoughts on how you can use them:

 

Don’t Assume – Work with Curiosity  

When a colleague’s performance fluctuates, the easiest response is suspicion, but the stronger response is curiosity. Rather than assuming they are less engaged, ask whether there is anything they need to help support their work. Symptoms of invisible illnesses can vary daily. Energy can be high one morning and depleted by afternoon. A colleague or leader who understands this energy variability shouldn’t question integrity, they should create stability.

 

Listen Without Trying to Fix

Sometimes the most supportive response is, “I appreciate you sharing that”. You don’t have to offer medical advice or solutions. Just listening builds trust. My former colleague and now friend has progressed well—she’s had an impressive career across several companies. At times, her journey came with hurdles when dealing with co-workers or supervisors who didn’t understand her difficulties. Now when she faces challenges, she reaches out to me to discuss them because I have earned her trust.

 

Respect Energy Level

Fatigue associated with disease can take many forms and may be overwhelming for those who experience it. A good leader offers work and task flexibility. Consider providing a “safe space” for breaks without drawing attention to the disease. It’s also important to be respectful of the impacted individual and avoid making jokes about the person’s illness, even if they sound light-hearted to you. At the workplace, respect and flexibility often matter more than sympathy. Flexibility means adjusting how the work gets done and not lowering the standard of the work itself.

 

Avoid pity – Choose professional respect

There is a subtle but important distinction between empathy and pity. While pity lowers expectations, empathy understands reality while maintaining standards. Colleagues who are managing invisible diseases don’t want to be defined by a diagnosis or their disease. They want to be recognized for the work they do each day, their expertise, and contributions with reasonable adjustments that allow them to perform at their best. Let them know that you value what they bring to the team.

 

Beyond What the Eye Can See

The most powerful support is simply respect, thoughtful listening, and the humility to remember that not all battles are visible. Not every challenge announces itself, and not every struggle can be seen. Let’s be human as we work with and lead our colleagues. In the end, winning is not only about results but how we treat people while achieving them. When we treat people living with invisible diseases with dignity and care, we build trust. When we build trust, we build stronger relationships and create a culture where everyone thrives.

 

I dedicate this article to my friend, who helped me understand that not all battles are visible, and to everyone living courageously with invisible illnesses. We see you. We respect you. We value you. We are here for you.  

 

Just because someone is walking doesn’t mean they aren’t carrying a heavy burden. My mother was right – “Don’t mistake movement for wellness.


 

Anteneh Zewde is a Reliability & Maintenance / TAR Program Manager at Qnity Electronics (A recent independent spin-off from DuPont). He has over 25 years of experience in various roles in design & development, reliability, maintenance, manufacturing support, project engineering, and leadership roles along with two patents. He is an active volunteer for Engineers Without Borders (EWB), leading the Eastern Pennsylvania & Delaware region and projects across the world. He received the Philadelphia Pathfinders Award in 2006, the EWB Exceptional Leadership Award in 2022, DuPont’s Corporate Community Impact Champion Award in 2023, and Mary S. Irick Drexel Society Award in 2025. Anteneh graduated from the University of Cincinnati with a B.S. in Mechanical Engineering and from Drexel University with an M.B.A.



Communicating with FINESSE is the not-for-profit community of technical professionals dedicated to being highly effective communicators and facilitators. Learn more about our publications, webinars, and workshops.


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