Why Communicating “To” Senior Management Matters More Than You Think

Communication Posture Shapes Your Influence Up the Line.

Whether you communicate to, at, or with someone shapes how your message is received and whether it influences a decision. Technical specialists often default to collaborative language because it feels polite or because grammar tools nudge them that way. But senior management is not looking for co‑creation. They are looking for concise, decision‑ready information delivered with respect for their role and their time. Understanding the difference between communicating to, at, and with someone is essential for avoiding noise and strengthening your impact.

Communicating “With” Someone

Communicating “with” someone assumes a transactional communication model. In other words, all participants are responsible for the co-creation of meaning. Communicators are interdependent and capable of influencing each other on an ongoing basis.

Transactional communication is politically correct. Most computer-based grammar editors will direct you to use “with”. However, in the real world, that’s a bad (and potentially fatal) assumption.

If you are doing a presentation in front of senior management or the board of directors, it is usually because you work for them and you have been invited to share your technical expertise to help them make a decision. It’s arrogant to assume that you are an equal collaborator and they are obliged to communication with you.

Communicating "To" Someone

Communicating “to” someone is based upon the foundational communication model, linear communication. Linear models take the form of “source-message-receiver” and consider communication as one-way. The burden of effective communication is on the sender.

The approach is most appropriate for technical specialists who are reporting up the line.

When you communicate "to" someone, you are actively engaging with them in a way that acknowledges their perspective, needs, and feelings. It can also set the stage for two-way communication by using techniques such as open-ended questions and seeking feedback. But it avoids arrogantly assuming that senior management or the board of directors are obligated to have a two-way dialogue with you.

Communicating "to" someone is conducive to effective communication because it fosters mutual understanding and can lead to better problem-solving and conflict resolution. It’s much different than communicating “at” someone.

Make Business Communication "To" Senior Management for Better Results

Communicating "At" Someone

This approach is less collaborative and usually comes across as one-sided or confrontational. When you communicate "at" someone, you are primarily focused on getting your message across without necessarily considering the other person's perspective or feelings.

It often involves talking at length without giving the other person a chance to respond. Or interrupting decision makers to reiterate your own viewpoints. The product of talking “at” someone is being seen as dismissive and inconsiderate.

Communicating "at" someone leads to misunderstandings, frustration, and strained relationships. Remember, as a technical specialist who has been called to provide their expertise, the burden is on you to make sure your message is received.

Communicate “To," Not “At” Someone for Better Results

Most of Our Communication is Linear Communication

Subject matter experts work for decision makers. As such, we are called to provide information. That means most of our communication is linear (one-way). The burden of effective communication is on the message sender.

This is a foundational tenet of the FINESSE Fishbone Diagram®.

Why FINESSE Is a Powerful Communication Model and Mental Model

As technical specialists, we are sometimes called upon to facilitate teams. Facilitation is a two-way, interactive communication that should not be confused with sharing expertise up the line.

A model for effective facilitation is CATER.

Summary

Communicating “with” someone is politically correct, and that’s where on-line editor like Word and Grammarly will direct you by default. That’s also a trap and not good for your career as a technical specialist communicating up the line. Communicating “to” someone is a better approach and doesn’t not have to be disrespectful. Communicating ”to” decision makers is better for your career because it reminds us that the burden of effective communication is ours. Communicating “at” senior management or the board of directors will not get the job done and will not enhance your career.

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JD Solomon champions practical communication skills that help technical professionals convey complex ideas clearly and confidently. Learn more at www.jdsolomonsolutions.com and www.communicatingwithfinesse.com.